What to say?

I have been meaning to restart my blog for a while now…. Well for quite some time should I say…. I either just never had the time to post or felt that what I would say had any meaning or value….. As I sit here at my desk procrastinating and contemplating the world as it is…. There is just so much to take in and understand about how society is at the moment…. There is just too much….. and yet not enough….. The world as it is, is just extremely overwhelming and yet at the same time extremely underwhelming.

Lately I have been struggling with extreme burn out and also the desire to make a difference in the world. A constant battle within myself to get up and fight but at the same time all i want to do is lie down and rest. I’m just so tired of struggling and fighting. So tired of serving and learning and understanding the meaninglessness of it all and trying to give it all meaning at the same time.

All in all I just felt that it was time to do something….. Sitting and writing now  is just a way to help me. I need this. I want this. I have to do this. Not just sit and contemplate the world. Always obsessed with trying to understand the mechanics of the universe. Doing whatever it takes to understand the Multiverse. To understand Time and Space….. But now I just think it’s time to understand myself. It’s about time I stopped looking towards the stars and the endless void above and turn my sights inward.

Instead of observing the universe that exists around me, why not build one that exists within me?

This blog was initially started as a project to record the progress made in my university work…. But now I think I should open it up again and use it to display my views and observations of matters that have been affecting me for the last few years as the work I have been doing at university has changed me. It reforged me through many trials and I feel that it’s about time I did something with that. What is the point of being an observer if you don’t share your observations?

In conclusion this post is just a rant I have gone on to expel many thought’s I am having right now…. It is also the start of something more…. and once I have it figured out, there will be many more posts to come.


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